First up, a very over due photo drop, mostly from this week
She has been challenging the past couple of day while hubby has been away. She always been spirited and strong in her own mind but I’ve had a lot of direct ignoring and ‘no’ ing to every request. I know its just age and development but its so frustrating as I know she’s usually helpful and want to co-operate. It’s also really hard as its so rare and unusual I find myself at a loss with how to deal with her. I hate to threaten meaningless actions such as ‘sit properly or i’ll take dolly away’ as I know shes simply to young to really understad what that means, but hell its hard to know how to respond, and ignoring it only gets me so far. We aim to be relaxed parents and allow her freedom to explore actions and consequences, but simply ignoring advice or defying safety instructions we draw a line at.
Some days I realise that parenting is more about how I behave and react than how my child is acting. It is about being consistent, fair and firm. Moose responds best to solid immovable boundaries, and very little interference within them. Recently, in a ill-advised attempt to be ‘fun’ and ‘relaxed’ I have let some of those slip, become fluid. Now its kicking my ass. Strident but loving mama is back.
Pictures from the last week, snippets of our lives
We have had a good week, but its been slow. I’m not sure why, perhaps bad weather, may be the holidays lack of our usual activities. But its felt long.
Currently I’m writing this sat on the sofa, in the near dark as Moose lies next to me, partially consoled about her daddies absence by the fact its half past 8 and she’s still awake and singing – seriously no joke, she’s lying under a quilt on the sofa singing ‘hickery dickory dock’ but her bed and the prospect of sleep incite a almost hysterical response combine with wailings of ‘I want my daddy’. A toughter mama would tuck her in and say good night, but I’m as soft as room temp butter.
So she’s beside me, my little companion in daddies absence
Phone dump, moments from this week
Moose is at an age where we are regularly (and annoyingly) being asked when we are going to give her a sibling. There are a variety of ways to respond, they depend on my state of sleep depravation, and range from a gentle ‘umm ahh, there always time’ right through to ‘what business is it of yours?’
We get the ‘oh no, you can’t keep her as an only child, that mean’ on a weekly basis – ha just watch us.
And while I seem flippant about this its not a flippant ‘off the cuff’ decision, its one that took hours of talking, thought and introspection for us both. Before we had a child we both felt a big (ish) family was the path we were heading down, he said 2 kids may be more, I said 4 kids. I had vision of myself as a barefooted mama surrounded by a happy brood as I made bread and chickens pecked at the door (seriously that was my imagined life – I know, for anyone who knows me its ironic and hilarious) There is a part of me that would love another, a sister for Moose. But I also know that I don’t want to compromise our time with her, the adventures we can have and my own sanity.
I have an enormous admiration for those with big families, and no small amount of envy for that vibrant buzzing home life, they have homes I visit and sink into like a comfy sofa, drinking in the noise and energy, the different personalities all under one roof, but its visiting that I love. I come back home and settle back into my little life equally happily, the peace, quiet and calm.
For us one child appears to be what is going to work, not for solely financial or emotional reasons, but in that it fits our life, expectations and our mission statement, what we want to give our child. Will she miss out on some things, well yes. She won’t have sibling relationships, she won’t have the big family environment. Family (biological anyway) is thin on the ground for us. Particularly since my mum died. The family we do have we treasure and try to make sure its about quality time. We hope what she will gain will amply make up for the things she will loose.
We want to take her to see Europe, where her history is, the places and experiences we enjoy, to live little slices of different lives. And, since we live on totally the wrong side of the equator for that, travel is a big deal from here. To visit the family we do have, to see the amazing wonderful, diverse world that is out there. To arm her with as many experiences as we can to aid her choices as she grows up.
And because we are a tiny bit nomadic, we just love the adventures.
Todays adventure was a little more modest – collecting fallen leaves for picture making
Gosh this girl loves her bike, and just being outside.
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