We have had a good week, but its been slow. I’m not sure why, perhaps bad weather, may be the holidays lack of our usual activities. But its felt long.
Currently I’m writing this sat on the sofa, in the near dark as Moose lies next to me, partially consoled about her daddies absence by the fact its half past 8 and she’s still awake and singing – seriously no joke, she’s lying under a quilt on the sofa singing ‘hickery dickory dock’ but her bed and the prospect of sleep incite a almost hysterical response combine with wailings of ‘I want my daddy’. A toughter mama would tuck her in and say good night, but I’m as soft as room temp butter.
So she’s beside me, my little companion in daddies absence
Phone dump, moments from this week
Moose is at an age where we are regularly (and annoyingly) being asked when we are going to give her a sibling. There are a variety of ways to respond, they depend on my state of sleep depravation, and range from a gentle ‘umm ahh, there always time’ right through to ‘what business is it of yours?’
We get the ‘oh no, you can’t keep her as an only child, that mean’ on a weekly basis – ha just watch us.
And while I seem flippant about this its not a flippant ‘off the cuff’ decision, its one that took hours of talking, thought and introspection for us both. Before we had a child we both felt a big (ish) family was the path we were heading down, he said 2 kids may be more, I said 4 kids. I had vision of myself as a barefooted mama surrounded by a happy brood as I made bread and chickens pecked at the door (seriously that was my imagined life – I know, for anyone who knows me its ironic and hilarious) There is a part of me that would love another, a sister for Moose. But I also know that I don’t want to compromise our time with her, the adventures we can have and my own sanity.
I have an enormous admiration for those with big families, and no small amount of envy for that vibrant buzzing home life, they have homes I visit and sink into like a comfy sofa, drinking in the noise and energy, the different personalities all under one roof, but its visiting that I love. I come back home and settle back into my little life equally happily, the peace, quiet and calm.
For us one child appears to be what is going to work, not for solely financial or emotional reasons, but in that it fits our life, expectations and our mission statement, what we want to give our child. Will she miss out on some things, well yes. She won’t have sibling relationships, she won’t have the big family environment. Family (biological anyway) is thin on the ground for us. Particularly since my mum died. The family we do have we treasure and try to make sure its about quality time. We hope what she will gain will amply make up for the things she will loose.
We want to take her to see Europe, where her history is, the places and experiences we enjoy, to live little slices of different lives. And, since we live on totally the wrong side of the equator for that, travel is a big deal from here. To visit the family we do have, to see the amazing wonderful, diverse world that is out there. To arm her with as many experiences as we can to aid her choices as she grows up.
And because we are a tiny bit nomadic, we just love the adventures.
Todays adventure was a little more modest – collecting fallen leaves for picture making
Gosh this girl loves her bike, and just being outside.
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